We’ve all done our share of bitching over the bros we meet in New Orleans. We even took the liberty of um, grouping a few of these bros a couple of months ago. As the years go by and our girlfriends get into relationships, or jump back onto the single train once again, we became intrigued on what the other side of the coin looks like. What are bros saying about the dating world in NOLA? Maybe, they are just as frustrated as we are. So, we asked them.
In 2017, it’s tough to meet people IRL. So, we turn to apps like Bumble to try and meet our future ex-boyfriends. If you’re a guy on Bumble, you may have received a message from one of us (P.S. ya’ll can go shave your backs now for not wanting to participate in our investigative journalism piece). 😅
There was one insightful 27 year old dentist, whose name we won’t share, that gratefully offered the wisdom below. Can someone give him the Pulitzer prize now?
Thankfully, we did find one lovely bachelor who was willing to share the deep-rooted details of his Bumble experience with us.
He’s 32, single, a lawyer for a multi-million dollar company from New York, lives Uptown, went to Spring Hill College for undergrad, likes to hit up trendy spots, and from what we know, he’s what we would call a normal guy. Let’s call him Chris.
This is what Chris had to say about his NOLA Bumble experience.
Chris on the Girls On Bumble
“I am always fascinated by the number of gorgeous girls, the number of my own friends, the endless supply of tourists and new breakups. Also, there are girls I see there ALL THE TIME. They quit then restart (you can tell).”
Babes: Guilty of the quitting and restarting 😅😅😅
“It’s just a really funny thing. It’s great for validation though. Nothing feels quite as good as matching with a girl because you think she’s hot and she thinks you’re hot (or at least interesting), ” he said.
I really liked talking to girls but you get the sense that a lot aren’t really there to meet people just to play around and look.
“I don’t mean to be arrogant but I’m a pretty good looking guy who’s a lawyer and I never really got the quality of girls I wanted. I know that sounds shitty…”
Babes: shitty, but we also complain about not finding quality guys either.
“I think a lot of guys and girls have trouble carrying on conversations with strangers.”
Chris On Profile Photos
“The pictures are fascinating. It’s highly addictive. Even when you’re really not interested you still want to see what’s out there.”
It’s like a menu of people; I’m not hungry but let’s just entertain the selection.
“I’ve studied the app and the sociology a lot. But I always swipe left on a girl with only selfies or a girl that you cant see below her shoulders. Again, shitty but it’s a red flag. I don’t even mind thick girls. I like them,”
but I like girls that are comfortable and confident.
“I tried to make my profile cover all the types: shirt off, nephew pic, dog pic, suit, nerdy Star Wars, etc.”
“Alt girls are a whole other category. The Bywater girls: colorful hair, nose rings, tats. I never match with those girls. Even though I’d like to. I’m very non discriminating when it comes to girls. I don’t have a type at all. But girls definitely do.”
Chris On The People You Actually Meet
“I have met some really great people. Also prob broke a few girls 
Tried to do it nicely, tried to be good about it. Remember the boutique girl? She left Nola completely, not because of me I’m sure. But she was an amazing person. Not for me but amazing. She still snaps me occasionally.”
“Rachel the nurse, also wonderful. Hated breaking her heart.”
I think the sweet spot for NOLA Bumble is 25-30.
“I think 32 sounds really old to anyone under 28. So I rarely match girls under that mark.”
Chris On The Bumble Bio
“There’s also a whole thesis I could write on your bio.”
For guys I think less is always more.
“Forever my bio was just ‘the boy is my nephew.’ I tried writing funny long things but there’s too much left to interpretation and you don’t get nearly as many matches. “Looking for a girl who loves to smile and laugh-” well, no shit.
While we would love to offer you ladies a broader perspective on the ongoings of the male mind, it seems the men in this city are just too refined. Seems like Chris knows what he’s talking about though so we’ll just assume this means it’s a two way street. Will dating ever get easier? We don’t know the answer to that babes. It sure does keep us entertained though!
We would love to hear your input. Comment below 😉
XOXO